October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The weight of what that means for so many families is heavy on my heart. I know from my own personal experience of losing two babies due to miscarriage. As an Aunt to my niece, Layla who was diagnosed with Potters Syndrome and lived for 34minutes. As a friend to to many who have lost due to miscarriage and infant loss after birth and to women who started off as strangers but are now dear bereavement friends. I mourn daily in different ways about my precious babies, Hayden and Isabel. There will always be an empty space in my heart for them that will never be filled here on this earth. BUT I am so thankful that I have the hope of Jesus Christ and the promise that I will see my babies one glorious day in Heaven.
My oldest rainbow baby is in love with Lauren Daigle and most recently, her song Rescue. It really resinated with me as I know so many women feel abandoned and alone when they go through the loss of their baby. Depending on the circumstances of the loss many women grieve in silence and others reach out only for “good intentioned” people to invalidate and belittle their grief with “Christian” one liners like, “God needed another angel”, “He works everything out for good”, “It was His will”, “God will give you another baby”…the hurtful words go on and on. I am sure you can relate to blankly staring at the person and thinking in your head that all you wanted was an “I am so sorry for your loss” or “I don’t have the words” or someone to just hold you while you weep for your baby. It is a very lonely road especially if you do not have anyone who can relate through a close family member or friends experience or they themselves have walked through the type of loss you have suffered. But God.
God NEVER wants any of his children to suffer. We live in a fallen world and death is part of that. No one is exempt from experiencing death and for many of us we suffer the loss of a child…the greatest loss one can suffer in my opinion. Many of us suffer alone because we do not have anyone who can relate and give us comfort as we walk this new path of bereavement. BUT God.
God suffered the loss of His ONLY Son. Can you believe that?! The God of the universe, Our Creator suffered a loss just like me and you?! I am blown away and honestly so thankful that I can go to my Heavenly Father about my losses and HE KNOWS. He knows, He hears my SOS, He comforts me and He sends out an army to find me! Can you hear Him in the lyrics of this song? What a comfort to my soul and hopefully a comfort yours as we take time this month to celebrate our little ones!
“Though you have been broken
Your innocence stolen
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS
I will send out an army to find you
In the middle of the darkest night
It's true, I will rescue you”
I want to encourage you no matter where you are in your grief journey to reach out. Talk about your story and your babies story! The single biggest thing that has helped me in my grief journey (besides God) is being part of a bereavement group! There are so many women who have suffered a child loss and are now using their story to help others in their loss journey! Reach out to your local church, search for a bereavement group! They are so beneficial to helping you navigate and talk through your grief!
In Honor of our Niece Layla Rae - Jan 6th 2010
&
Our Precious Babies
Hayden - May 13th 2013 & Isabel - Oct 10th 2016
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
2 Corinthians 1:4