When I have had a minute to sit and think, which isn’t very often with three little ones under the age of five. But when I have… over the last four weeks I have caught myself feeling sad. Probably not for the reason you are thinking. I love our friends and family back in Missouri and we do miss them dearly but we also know that we are where God has called us.
I feel sad because I don’t have the “american” idea of a home for my family. I am once again sitting in someone else’s home and using some else’s things. It has now been over a year since we started this journey by selling off our belongings one by one this month last year! It still sounds just as crazy now as it did a year ago. But we did … we sold our furniture and were eating dinners on folding chairs last October and eventually we sold our home and were living with friends for a month (during Christmastime!) before driving to Youth With a Mission, Lakeside, MT.
We similarly to the rich young ruler were called to leave everything and follow Christ. Unlike the rich young ruler we did not turn away sad but instead followed a similar path to the disciples and “dropped our nets” to follow Christ.
“And at once they left their nets and followed Him. Matthew 4:20”
After having my pity party I spent some time reflecting on just that thought. The disciples left everything and followed Jesus for three years…they went from town to town never knowing where they were going to rest their heads for the evening. The were following their King and that is all that mattered. God would provide in miraculous ways and would use individuals to help bless them along the journey. We have been so fortunate to have friends, family and strangers step forward to support us in our calling. In particular the people who have opened their homes up to us. Our friends back in Missouri who let us live with them during the Christmas season. They literally emptied their bedroom and moved upstairs so that we could be across the hall from our kids. They no longer had privacy in their home but instead welcomed us and our hot mess as we were preparing to leave.
Since we have been here we’ve had three staff member families open up their homes as well. Each family selflessly moving their belongings out to make room for us while we stayed. All of which would be making a long day(s) travel back home. And instead of just needing to empty their bags and relax they would start the process of getting their things back in place. Each family has shown us by example what it means to open your home, to use the things God has given you to bless others. It has been so humbling and overwhelming at times to experience these type of blessings. It has also shown us and given us a better understanding and a definition for home.
As followers of Christ we are all home sick. As soon as we accept Jesus into our hearts we are added to a Heavenly home and the longing begins. As much as we try to get our homes here on earth just perfect there is always something out of place…and that thing is US! The American Dream is a funny thing as much as the world (or Satan) tries to lure us with adding more and more stuff to fill that void within it just never is enough.
“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 1 Peter 2:11 ”
After Jesus rose from the grave and ascended back to heaven the disciples continued sharing the gospel. They didn’t turn back to their homes and old life and how could they? How could we? There is something so life changing and reckless about when you are filled with the Holy Spirit! Until we are standing with open hands and giving everything to God we as Christians will always feel a longing. There is something so freeing about giving it all to the one who created you and trusting that His Ways are BETTER! And that is what I find my comfort and home in. This world is not my home and the reality is that I will never feel at home no matter where we lay our heads this side of heaven. As we wait for our next housing solution I need to remain anchored in God and where He is leading our family…because while we are here fulfilling the tasks he has prepared for us we will be at home with each other and not a place.
