We meet in the Fall of 1998 as we both had the same home room for 7th grade.  This was my first year at public school and getting used to being around so many different kids and upbringings.  Our families attended the same church for a while so we had youth group together.  We were always friends and enjoyed having meaningful conversations together but we never dated.  I personally, considered him to much of a bad boy and also I was not allowed to date.  The Pharr family moved after freshman year in 2001 to Blue Springs, MO.  We still saw each other at the summer festival Puddle Jumpers and maybe an occasional football game.  Senior graduation after the ceremony I saw him across the way and ran over for a big hug!  Apparently, this did not go over well with his current girlfriend.   About a year and half went by and I was in the library at Blue River MCC with a mutual friend from high school.  He was on myspace and looking at Jonathan’s pictures.  He currently was deployed overseas in Iraq.  I was so excited to see him and was so proud of what he was doing.  I commented on a photo and said hi.  Well a few weeks later I had a nudging still to reach out.  I did not have his information so I got his email from our mutual friend.  I sent my first email February 3rd, 2006.  We corresponded back and forth and I even received a few phone calls while he was overseas.  The last phone call was when he was in Germany on his way home April 16, 2006.  He asked that we be exclusive and that he wanted to spend time with me while he was back on leave in Missouri before he went back to his station at Camp Pendleton, CA.  I was in the middle of finals for college and like any good A+ student would do….I blew off school to spend time with this Marine.  We spent a lot of time together with friends and family and getting caught up on life.  The day before he left May 05, 2006 Jonathan took me on a motorcycle ride and we had a picnic looking over Lake Jacomo in Blue Springs, MO.  He asked if I would give him the honor to grow in love and Christ and if I would marry him!  Of course, I said YES!  He flew out back to California the next day.  We were married three months later on August 4, 2006.  With our honeymoon consisting of loading up what little items we had at the ripe age of 20 years old and driving a packed Uhaul to California.

Our first year was anything but normal.  Jonathan and his squadron were preparing for another deployment coming in the Spring so we knew we had limited time to get things squared away in communication and our new marriage.  We immediately found a home church, Northcoast Church in Vista, CA and jumped into a young married small group.  We still listen and follow this church and have close relationships with our old small group members.  These two decisions were pivotal in helping us prepare as we entered a 7-month deployment.  Our first anniversary, was spent roughly 6,752miles apart.  I stayed busy and worked full-time as a retail Assistant Manager and finished up my Associates Degree in Missouri.  I moved back out to California about a month before he was scheduled to come home just in time for the yearly California fires.  He arrived home safely and I took some time off work while he was on leave.  We were able to take a beautiful trip to Yosemite which is still one of our favorite memories.  He fulfilled the remainder of his contract with the Marine Corps and we moved back to Missouri in the Fall of 2008.  He attended community college for a year and then we moved to Columbia, MO for him to attend the prestigious school of Journalism at the University of Missouri in Columbia, MO.  I worked full-time in as a retail manager and he attended school year round to get it knocked out.  This was a difficult season in our marriage as not only were we on different schedules but Jonathan was dealing with the struggles of survivals guilt, depression and isolation.  Shortly after the loss of my niece Layla in 2010, our marriage hit rock bottom.  It took almost a year for us to get back on track but again, but God proved himself faithful as we clung to him.  Finally, in the winter of 2012, he graduated and had a job working in marketing with a local mortgage company that specialized in VA home loans.  I quit retail and we were able to enjoy a Christmas together for the first time in years before I started as a processor for the same mortgage company.

We bought our dream home and began the process of starting a family.  May 11th, 2013 we told family that we were expecting our first baby!  Everyone was overjoyed and that Sunday we celebrated my first mother’s day.  The next day we went in for our appointment and were devastated to find out that we had lost the baby about two weeks prior.  We started the painful journey of grieving our first baby, Hayden.  After complications in September, we were blessed to find out in January 2014 that we were expecting our second baby in September!  This pregnancy was very hard on me emotional and physically but God held us through the months as we inched closer to the due date.  On August 30th, 2014 I awoke that Sunday morning to my phone vibrating.  It was my in-laws calling around 7:00 in the morning.  I answered, with my mother-in-law on the other line.  She was calling to let us know that Troy, my father-in-law, had passed away…and not to worry about coming up as she knew I was high-risk and not supposed to travel.  I asked her where she was and let her know we would be there in a couple hours.  I can’t even begin to express the range of emotions I had as I got off the phone and looked at my husband in shock.  This will always be one of the worst moments for me of having to tell my husband that his father and best friend was gone.  We drove the 2 hours mostly in silence as the shock was wearing off and reality setting in.  We arrived at the hospital to say goodbye before the funeral home took him away.  I slipped out of the room at one point and asked a nurse to check my blood pressure as she looked at my very pregnant 39-week stomach… it was high although I was doing my best to remain calm but my body was not cooperating.  They had me go upstairs to make sure I wasn’t preeclamptic and was eventually released.  The next few days were spent with me resting while Jonathan and his family made funeral arrangements.  The night of Troy’s visitation we welcomed our firstborn, Kennedy, into the world!   We were so blessed to have an amazing team of nurses and our doctor as not only did Kennedy show signs of distress which turned out to be the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice, but I hemorrhaged after delivery.  Unfortunately, the three medications they typically use to stop the bleeding … did not work and they had to perform an emergency balloon procedure.  Thankfully it worked!!! Otherwise I would’ve been sent to emergency surgery to remove my uterus.  I truly believe, God used Troy’s death to get me and our baby to the right hospital and team to keep us safe!  Although my heart aches that my father-in-law is not here, I have seen God do AMAZING things because of his death and that is such a testament to HIS will and timing!

We had great jobs, our dream home and a beautiful daughter and a dog.  We had finally achieved the American Dream!

But something was missing.  In the summer of 2015 Jonathan felt a calling to start working on a startup company that would provide meaningful employment to veterans and law enforcement officers.  He worked for a year without pay during the wee hours of the night to help get this company up and running.  After a year we would reassess and see what God was saying.  The year came and they received an opportunity to have two people begin full-time on staff.  On June 5th, 2016 Jonathan left his cooperate job and began a new adventure.  He worked another year away from family Monday through Friday and we would get to have family time on the weekends when he traveled back home to Columbia from Kansas City, MO.  We celebrated our 10 year Anniversary in Kauai, HI.  One of the most breathtaking experiences I have ever had.  We were so blessed to see how God was working and were excited to see what was in store for us on this next chapter!  Immediately, the devil started working to stir up doubt and division.  A month later we found out we were pregnant with our third baby.  Such a blessing to us as we were walking a rough patch.  On October 10th, 2016 we found out that our little baby no longer had a heartbeat, sweet Isabel.  We were devastated … that same day we received an offer on our home in Columbia, MO and we accepted.  A month later we closed and started to rent in Columbia in the meantime as I was waiting for a job opportunity to open up.   On June 5th, 2017 God provided a work opportunity for me as well and the family moved to Oak Grove, MO.  We closed on our new home the end of June 2017 and were happy to announce that we were expecting our fourth little blessing!!  We immediately started looking for a church to call home and after several attempts we found a home inside Bingham Middle School where Church of the Four Corners was meeting.  We dove in and went through their Next Step program, joined a small group and Jonathan became part of their Security team. 

On New Year’s Eve God blessed us with a little boy, Troy Mattis!!  We were beyond ecstatic for a healthy baby and delivery this time around!!  Again, from appearances we had achieved what appeared to be the American Dream:  Two careers, a beautiful home, two kids (really 4) and a dog.  Shortly, after we were settling in as a new family of four Jonathan came to me and said God was putting it on his heart to live a radical life.  He asked that I pray and prepare for what that might mean.  Months later after a business trip to Montana in July 2018,  I would see exactly how God was working in my husband’s heart.

See “Next Stop” to follow our Journey