We had a question posed from our speaker Thursday night, “Do you believe that God has given you His very best, every single day of your life?” What a challenging question. I believe we all, for the most part, believe that but if we are honest we probably only want to believe it on our “good” days. How can the hard days filled with trials, sickness and death be God’s best for me?!
Almost, five weeks ago after five months of preparing we finally made it to Lakeside, MT. I had no insight or really understanding of what our living arrangements would be while we were attending the Discipleship Training School. All I knew was that we both felt God’s leading and that this is where, when and what we were supposed to be doing. The how, why and how long not fully answered we felt the urgency to obey and left all of our “American Dream” comforts to find out.
After several long days of traveling and even sickness we arrived to our “new home”. I knew in my mind coming here it would be sacrificing a lot of our daily comforts but in full transparency I was not ready for what the reality really was when we walked into our rooms. My heart sank as I looked around trying to find something good, something clean that I would let my kids touch. I sat on the old, floppy mattress that was to be our shared bed with Troy and Kennedy while Jonathan and Faith brought in the belongings we kept. I was in shock and disbelief as to how bad our accommodations were compared to what we just left behind. I know that being a missionary requires sacrifice but seriously, God. We are still in the United States and we are paying to be here; shouldn’t there be some nicer comforts? If not for us, at least the kids?! We had better bathrooms in gas stations on our trip here. How are we going to function the next three months, how are we going to be able to focus on the teachings, prepare for this new child, maintain our sanity in these conditions? Where are you God? Why did it feel like we just got the short end of the stick? I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any or ALL of these thoughts and concerns. It took everything in me to not weep that night and feel sorry for myself.
“How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” Psalm 13
But just like David in this Psalm I have come to see how good and faithful God is! We have made some minor improvements to help make our little rooms more comfortable and Kennedy even started calling our rooms “home” after the first week! Honestly, I am once again amazed by the resiliency of our children and how they are adjusting so well!! We truly have found contentment in our space but more importantly we REJOICE and SING for what God is doing in our family! We are being challenged spiritually in so many ways and are truly enjoying the hard growth that is going on in our walks with God. Who would have thought that we could leave the world’s definition of the “American Dream” and find His very best for us in an old barracks room with communal bathrooms?
On base barrack housing during our DTS class (adjoined rooms with communal bathrooms).