Five weeks ago I wept, driving home from another Dr. appointment that had more unknowns and no timeframes. It had been 5 1/2 weeks since my sledding accident that required a helicopter ride to the hospital. Which resulted in a deep bone contusion with Eschar tissue and lots of fluid build up. There is nothing quick or easy about this injury and I have had to laugh A LOT at the craziness of it all. I definitely have my days but overall I am really doing well mentally and spiritually. With some of the other traumatic things I’ve walked through over the years this really isn’t that bad in comparison but the weeks do wear on a person. But I want to let you know that while I was weeping I was also worshipping the One who holds it all.

Through every battle
Through every heartbreak
Through every circumstance
I believe that You are my fortress
Oh, You are my portion
And You are my hiding place, oh
I believe You are
The way, the truth, the life
I believe You are
The way, the truth, the life
I believe
Through every blessing
Through every promise
Through every breath I take
I believe that You are Provider
Oh, You are Protector
You are the One I love, oh
- The Way (New Horizon)

The last two years have been such a crazy time. We moved with a lot of unknowns and walked away from everything we did know. Each month came with new challenges and this September we finally felt like we were able to take a breath as we moved into campus housing. I remember JT and I reflecting on the year (last two years) in early December and seeing if we felt like God was giving any words or themes for 2021.

While I know we are where God has called us I can also acknowledge that it has been life altering, uncomfortable, challenging, lonely and inconvenient at times. I feel like I have spent the last two years surviving but not necessarily thriving. But I think a lot of that has to do with perspective.

From my perspective I think I am alone, its dark and I feel buried and suffocating. From God’s perspective I have been taken to new soil and have been planted. It is a safe place for me to grow but it takes time and time sometimes can be a persons worst enemy. We tend to overthink and doubt where we are because, from our perspective, we look stuck and surrounded. But from God’s perspective He is watering us, which can sometimes have the same sensation or similarities to drowning. There is the sun that comes out periodically, making it hot and uncomfortable because it stirs us to new growth.

God has done so much in the last two years in our family and ministry. A lot of it for me has been underneath the surface. I have felt so much and nothing at times but I have known through all of it that God is moving and preparing us for His plan. We don’t know the full plan but we have been faithful in walking in obedience with whatever the next step has been.

So this year for 2021 I feel like I/we are ready for breakthrough, exponential growth, to grow luxuriantly…to flourish. I still don’t know what that means or what exactly that looks like but I feel uncomfortable, too tight, ready to burst and I am excited and ready for fresh air and sunshine on my face.